*Disclaimer – curse words below.
January was here as quickly as it left. January is full of New Year Resolutions, New Year New Me themes (which I dislike heavily), and a promise to always get that body you so desperately want… but what if we looked at things a bit differently. Here’s how I took my ImPrefert Whole 30 to meet my needs.
“I think it’s time I do a Whole30.” words I randomly mention to my husband, who has never heard of Whole30. I purchased the book after someone mentioned it and I was intrigued, it went into the Amazon cart for a seamless transaction. At this time in our life, we were eating organic afterall so Whole 30 would be just another building block …
So, book purchased, check, skimmed it, check, and set the start date for the following Monday. I purchased over $400 in groceries for a successful Sunday meal prep. Done & Done! I reward myself with tacos and a “Special” margarita, I would be starting a new diet the next day so take in ALL the crap to detox it out. Great plan!
It’s Monday, Day 1, and we are off to a great start. Our food is prepped, and while my kitchen might look like it’s in a disarray, I’m very content with the effort I’ve made to embark on this Whole30. First thought, “ I got this, this is easy.”
Day 2: “well damn it,” words I thought as I loaded my prepped lunch into my bag … wasn’t really feeling like chicken and broccoli, but it’s made, and afterall I’m on a Whole30 so keep going. Then I start to wonder, can people really maintain a Whole30 lifestyle for the rest of their life?
Day 3: Today is when I answer my end of day 2 question – “no, no they cannot maintain Whole30 for the rest of their life.” It’s Wed and I’m halfway through the week and honestly I’d like a glass of wine. I look at the wine, I look at the water glass … FUCK … I break. I tell myself, “There is no way to maintain this your whole life,” and I’m back into old habits.
Months later, “I think it’s time we do a Whole30.” yet again random words I say outloud … and for years this pattern continues … Whole30, purchase excessive amounts of groceries, binge eat prior to start date, make it 3 days, and repeat. Failure, after failure, after failure… it was ALL OR NOTHING.
October 2018, I’m weighing in at the highest point in my LIFE. We traveled home from Colorado to Kansas City. My gut is quite literally pressing into the seatbelt so hard it actually makes me feel sick. And Jonathan (my sweet ginger baby daddy) yacking outside of the vehicle. We were a mess. My internal dialogue screams at me “we need a change!”
At this point, I was struggling with severe anxiety/panic attacks and Jonathan thyroid/gut health issues. Trying to become a personal trainer, inner voice, would say, “who would even want to train with you,” damn imposter syndrome. So we decided our goals were to reduce gluten, dairy, and sugar … and that meant another Whole 30.
I was raised knowing that you only workout and diet to get skinny, never to feel good. There was this no in between – so with this Whole 30 I couldn’t make a single mistake. Right, because it’s ALL or NOTHING.
This time I didn’t skim the book, I read it. I had a complete understanding of what I was doing. So when I broke on day 15, it fucking blew. Sitting in my sorrows of guilt and shame, and fear of telling people I failed … I sat there thinking what on earth. That’s when I had a moment of clarity … I wanted to be healthy the rest of my life, not just 30 days, not just 15 days. The rest of my life … so I broke day 15 and started back up on day 16. Some of the Whole 30 peeps would say then technically I would have to start over with Day 1, but it was day 16 for me. My old pattern was to stop and fall back, but what if, just what if this time I pressed forward. And so I did.
We lived this way for over a year, both Jonathan and I dropped over 15 pounds. We had an understanding of ingredients. We had an understanding of which food made us feel great and not so great. It literally took me a shit ton of imperfect Whole 30’s to finally get 1 Whole 30 completed. The knowledge and the compassion I found myself was well worth it. So the point is, if you fuck up on your plan, own it and move forward. That’s when you start to see growth happen. And maybe an imperfect Whole30 is just what you need to get started, so keep going.
Healthy Vibes my friends,